June 2011
1 post
February 2011
2 posts
January 2011
1 post
Back in DC.
I need to let go of this weird resentment. I wanted him to be happy and enjoy his last year of college even though we’re living several states apart this year. Just because I’ve been lonely and miserable for most of our separation doesn’t mean I get to feel sorry for myself and resentful of him enjoying time with other people. Breathe. Breathe. It’s a new year and I need a...
December 2010
1 post
October 2010
5 posts
Trying to be a robot.
I’ll admit that I usually like to vent about things that are bothering me. Airing it out to my mom, sisters, or a good friend usually makes me feel better. However, I have discovered that my grad school-related problems defy all attempts at resolution by talking about them.
Whenever my family members or friends ask how classes are, I try to cut off the line of conversation with a...
September 2010
7 posts
Being in grad school is turning out to be a lot less fun than I thought. Not that I expected it to be FUN, per se- there’s only so much fun to be had in studying for hours and writing analytical essays and all of that. It’s more like I didn’t expect the accompanying depression that makes me liable to play solitaire on my computer for long periods of time, or watch as many...
Burdens
I must be doing something wrong when I try so hard not to be a burden to everyone else that I end up burdening myself with a bunch of stupid things. Today, I am feeling burdened. And feeling simultaneously like I will be burdensome if I try to resolve this situation and unburden myself.
Today I am also feeling like an outsider. It’s nobody’s fault, really, just a fact that comes along...
Something about this song is so haunting and sad...
iPod Shield
I wear my earphones, my iPod volume turned just high enough that I can deflect criticism from everyone around me. The fact that this criticism is probably entirely a creation of my own mind is of no consequence to me at these times. THEY might be judging my clothing- I’ll be the first to admit that I’m no fashion plate, especially not on this well-dressed campus. Maybe it’s my...